Well... its become that time.
I've realised that while the game can be a great hobby I need to recognise that it is just that and that it inhibits me in the way I play it now. I had an epiphany the other day whilst on holiday. Things are going slowly in the guild at the moment, with many people hitting burnout and holidays etc so staying online unless you're levelling is a little pointless and I realised: I'm tired of the heroics I've run for a year, of all the raids I've raided to death, of trolls both in LFD and trade (and the lack of server community) and above all I'm tired of the grind. The fact that you can't stop playing or you'll slide back, blizzard isnt alone in using this idea of loss to get you to keep playing. . This article was one of the things opened my eyes. I wouldnt say it was fear, more a bit of a wake up call. I had 2 weeks off - week 1 I played wow - week 2 I'd arranged a trip to see some relatives up north. Week 2 I was severely ill and I still had a better, more rewarding time.
There's another article on that site thats also very good. It show how the internets is making us sick. Again a little dramatic but some of what it talks about is completely valid to most of us. I do realise this website is mainly a comedy website but they made some pretty good points.
I recognise that I get a kick out of taking a an alt character from scratch and by allocating the time and the effort gearing it until I can shine with it. Maybe I'm a little OCD but I enjoy the feeling of power this gives me and the way I can excell. I also get a kick out of raiding, like the satisfaction when we kill something we've struggled on. However, this is a virtual world and at best we're leaving footprints in the sand. I can't put on a CV my Hardmodes, my experience or even my Gearscore. The fact is that any reasonably intelligent person can pick up the game and excell without too much work is depressing and devalues that crap anyway. People constantly go on about skill when increasingly you don't need it to do well at this game . It's a grind fest. It rewards you for knowing that 1 piece of extra information.
Basically I took a hard, honest look at myself and didn't like what I saw. Gone was the 19 yearold scamp who was playing between partying and in it's place a guy in his mid 20s, who's mildy overweight and has alienated to this date 3 girlfriends and a couple of best mates. I didn't start out like this, in fact at the beginning I was determined not to play as much as I do now and I forgot that. Sure I've made friends playing the game and I hope that they find a balance that works for them. Most of the people I've met playing WoW have been fucked up in at least one obvious way, often not making them a bad person (like Axxx who hates gays but is otherwise friendly) . Often it's just something that they've fallen in to. I know a lot of you do have your heads screwed on right but you guys seem to be few and far between. I hope you don't go the way I've gone. I recognise it's not entirely the game but how I interact with it and it's my own fault I've come to this point.
WoW has taken some of the best years of my life. It sounds melodramatic but I've been foolish and tied myself to wow to make sure I didnt miss anything in game and as a result I've missed a lot outside it. This large amount of time in game has also made me ill. Not "arghh its the bad AIDs" ill but disatisfied with my quality of life. Getting home and playing several nights a week means I don't have time for exercise, sitting at the pc has given me bad posture, and playing late and relying on the game for entertainment have made me a frequently tired, boring person. This got worse when my job changed.
I'll be online sporadically to enjoy the game in small chunks, but I'm not going to put my life on hold any longer. Good luck in the future with your goals whether they be Virtual or RL and I'll probabaly see you from time to time in game. Rxxxxx xxx is probably the best home I've had in any online game and I hope you guys chill out a bit because the atmosphere we have in raids sometimes can verge on toxic .
All I'd suggest is that if you've put on weight like I have, go out for a jog. I did the other morning and although I nearly died and was slow (and in all honesty had to walk off a stitch for part of it) once I'd got back and returned to normal I felt incredible. I slept like a baby that night something I haven't done in ages.
Oh and be nice to Bxxxxx and Hxxxxx theyre both working hard for the guild with no thanks for it. They have a difficult time ahead and could do with your support.
I hope Ive given at least 1 of you something to think about. Surprisingly I'm going to miss the time I spend with you guys, even the bulgarian mafia or TEAM SWE. Please know that even though I'm a bit of a cunt, I generally either wasn't serious or was doing it for the benefit of the guild. To paraphrase Txxx: While I was an officer we had to make some tough decisions and they weren't always the right ones, but they were the best ones we could make. It's been a privilege being an officer for you guys and being a member of Rxxxxx xxx.
Laters,
TLDR: ISAK, Retiring from raiding/being an officer. Won't be online so much.
PS: If you need crafts or something. Send the mats to echo then get Exxx to text me.
It's been fun being part of the blogging community but I feel I need to take a big step back.
So long
/echo out
